


Desensitized

by visionofblue (merelyafigment)



Category: Oz (TV)
Genre: M/M, my post-season 6 Alvarez POVs are so very depressing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-11-01
Updated: 2004-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:41:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26948392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merelyafigment/pseuds/visionofblue
Summary: A quick snippet of Miguel Alvarez thinking about his life and Torquemada. (Post-Exuent Omnes character study. Spoilers for all seasons.)
Relationships: Miguel Alvarez/Alonzo Torquemada
Kudos: 2





	Desensitized

**Author's Note:**

> Archiving Note: I am backdating and archiving this in 2020. It is very old, originally posted on a journal of some sort.
> 
> Warning: it's Oz, so always be on the lookout for terrible language, attitudes, and slurs. **Slight dubious consent warning** , because of the form Alvarez and Torquemada's relationship takes here.

Miguel stumbled out of his pod for count, yawning. Torquemada was right there waiting for him. Miguel took his place beside him like every other day. Alonzo slid a hand over him. Like he did every other minute. Miguel didn't even really feel it anymore. It used to be...every little touch would stand out in here. Every contact special. Good or bad. A punch, a caress, a brush aside, everything made a mark. Because touch was so rare. 

Now...it all just blended together. Alonzo was always touching him. When they were talking, when they were eating, when Miguel was sitting and reading. When Alonzo came up to him, when Alonzo left him.

Touch.

Touch.

Touch.

It wasn't rare. It wasn't special. It wasn't wanted, or welcomed. Just accepted. Just given in to, because resisting, and shouting, and smacking those hands away took too much fucking effort. 

Miguel had given up expending energy on anything. No more fighting. He just floated through the days; Alonzo took care of everything else. 

Miguel had given up to him. Given up to the never ending, tiring, soul suck that was Oz. Now Miguel was safe, high whenever he wanted...nothing to fight. Fight against. Fight for. There was nothing. Miguel didn't have to be _present_ for anything anymore. He could just move with it. 

With that rest, the break from it all which Miguel got...came the touches. The talking always in his fucking ear. The closeness that meant nothing to Miguel, and everything to Torquemada. Miguel accepted it. 

Maybe it would've been different if Torquemada tried to fuck him. Miguel would have had to fight. He'd be forced to. But Alonzo didn't cross that line. Didn't rouse that painful drive that would make Miguel have to struggle again. Those touches never amounted to anything. Just petting him. Like he was precious. Like he was Alonzo's. So Miguel couldn't muster the strength to fight them. He was allowed to stay floating. 

He never had to think. 

He barely had to breathe. 

He was as gray as the walls. 

Empty. 

It was all he had left. 

At least it didn't hurt anymore. 

Now there was nothing.

Touch. 

Touch. 

Touch.


End file.
